You sure do keep me busy these days. But for now, you’re sound asleep upstairs, snuggling your baby dolls. I’ve been putting off writing this to you for awhile now but August sure is creeping up on us. The moments before we welcome a new little one into our family are dwindling & I find myself trying to just enjoy them as thoroughly as I can. Our little family of three will be gone & in a way I will miss having you all to ourselves.
For just under 2 years, you’ve been an only child. You’re my sidekick, my mini-me & my best friend. You’re the apple of our eye, receive all of our attention, are doted on day & night. You & I spend our days running errands, playing together, learning & snuggling. You have me in the palm of your hand, which is exactly where I want to be. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put into words how much joy & love you’ve brought into my life over the past couple years. Knowing your little sister is almost here, I try to cherish my time with you even more. I snuggle you longer, hold you closer & let you get away with more than usual. I know the days of you & I together are fleeting. While I know things are going to change for the better, a small part of me feels bad that your world is going to be rocked to the core.
You as the oldest child, had the pleasure of being our sole focus & while your sister will never have that, she has the pleasure of being the little sister. She will be born with a best friend waiting for her at home. I know that over the years, your relationship will blossom, your sister will become your partner in crime & your confidant. There will be bumps in the road, as all siblings experience but you will have each other in this life. That is what we wanted for you when we decided to have another child. Not only did we want another baby in our lives, but we wanted to give you the blessing of a sibling. The friendship between two sisters is a most magical friendship. I know that you will both love each other, completely. I know that your relationship will twist & turn, grow & change. You will protect each other, support each other & love each other. I am humbled to be able to give this gift to you & I am excited to watch it take its form.
Even so, I know that life is about to turn upside down. You can’t possibly comprehend the difference that something so small will make in our lives. I know that it will be hard for you to remember what life was like before your little sister came along. It will be hard for your daddy & I to remember that as well, but for a short time, you had my undivided attention, my world revolved around you, my day started & ended with your sweet little face. Please, please know that even though my attention will be divided, my love for you won’t. Yes, you will get a little less of my attention than you were used to. Yes, your daddy & I might not be able to both sit in your room for 30 minutes every night as we put you to bed. For awhile our lives will be in survival mode & we’ll have to figure out what our normal is with our new family of four. But our hearts won’t be divided, our hearts will get bigger & we will have more & more love in our home than we could possibly imagine.
I also need to tell you that as my first, you showed me how wild & limitless unconditional love can be. You taught me it’s possible to have my heart walking around outside of me. You changed everything. You made me a mother. Even though you won’t be my only child, or even my only daughter, you’ll always be my first. You. You were my first newborn, infant, toddler & you continue to surprise me everyday. You are the fearless explorer who pulls me by the hand into the future. You are in all my thoughts, dreams & wishes. So when you’re feeling frustrated because I’m nursing your sister instead of playing with you, or because I might use stern words with you but not her, or because I can’t stop talking about how adorable she is (Mama raved about you too), know that there is more than enough love for both of you, because of the ever-expanding place in my heart that you made. You, you, you. You’ll always be my first.
Celia Rose, I love you so much. I love your sweet caring heart, your spunky & sometimes sassy personality & the big girl you’re turning into. You will always be my first born & my baby girl. I will always be the biggest cheerleader in your corner, celebrating all of the little & big accomplishments in your life. You are a dream come true & bring more to my life than I ever could have imagined. I couldn’t ask for a better daughter, friend & most of all, a better big sister.
Thank you for being you, sweet girl.
I love you to the moon and back!
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