Yesterday was our ‘first’ Mother’s Day together. Well, unless you count last year when you were in my tummy (I do.)
As you lay beside me taking your morning nap, I was going to write about how much has changed in a year. I started to type frivolous things like how I used to have all the time in the world to shave my legs or fix my hair. How none of that mattered because the trade is worth it. So so soooo worth it.
But it wasn’t sitting right with me. Because the truth is after getting home from our amazing day with family down the Cape- I came home and cried. I held you in my arms and kissed you and kissed you and kissed you. I did this because I am still so heartbroken for another mommy in the blogging community. I cried because it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I get to have another beautiful day with my sweet little baby and she doesn’t. One week ago, her 3 year old son was taken in the blink of an eye. One minute he was running around, laughing and playing, and the next minute he was just… gone. Running out to grab his frisbee… just at the wrong place, at the wrong time.
And I know that she would give anything in the world to have one more unshaved legs & messy hair day with her baby. I am grateful, and yet so sad. Death is so permanent. There are no second chances. There is no reset button. There are only memories. Beautiful memories. Everyone, through the help of social media, is mourning the loss of that sweet red-headed boy, Ryan. I hate to say it, but it’s in these moments that we truly realize how much we have and how tragic loss really is.
Celia Rose, I want you to know the trade has been worth it. I now have your chubby cheeks to kiss and I get to snuggle with you every morning and night (and pretty much anytime you’ll let me). I love you more than I ever knew possible. It’s beyond incredible and I love being a mom. I love being your mom.
So thank you my sweet little babe for making me yours. I am so blessed that I get to spend my days watching you learn and grow. You’re such a smart, beautiful baby. The days are flying by and I will not take a single second for granted.
I love you to the moon and back baby girl.
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